The "real" you
I must admit, it is a lot of work to put on a fancy façade which requires one to clock in every morning, then clock out for lunch, and back to masking the beautiful and stunning façade that no one knows about, except for you, of course. And let’s be clear here, this isn’t a part-time job, this is an eight-hour shift/40-hours a week job that requires your time, effort, energy, and creativity while disguising the real you. And of course, as one anticipates the earnings of their hard labor when “Pay Day” arrives, to then discover their check is missing hours, so now you’re a bit disappointed because all of your hard work, blood and sweat is not entirely being counted for in this check. Talk about living on a tight budget. Yikes! Yes, looking fabulous on the outside but messy on the inside is a lot of work to maintain, especially when one neglects and conceals the problem with momentary solutions. I, myself, can identify as the worker who’d clock in every morning, and when I mean clock in, I am referring to waking up each day with the same hidden, undealt issues that dwells within me: discontentment, feeling insignificant, not understanding my worth/values as a child of God, living a lie just so I’d be accepted, and overall living a mediocre life. Then to finally clock out, and lay in my bed, masked with concealer, Mac powder, and my favorite red lipstick (Ruby Rue). Lol.
You may ask, “Widny, why are you sharing this? How can this information help another sister?"
I am sharing this because I know there are other women who struggle with wanting to be accepted, feeling/finding love anywhere and putting God as their last option. Women who are settling for what feels good in the “moment”, rather than pressing on and discovering who God says they are and what He thinks of them, is what matters.
I’d sit before the mirror for hours putting makeup on my face with the wrong intent of hiding scars that others don't need to see. I’d look so sternly into the mirror in hopes that I can change the way that I look… Fix my hair in ways that would deter others from seeing the color of my eyes…
And you know what? I wasted time! I should have spent this time spending it with God rather than on myself.
I asked God before writing this blog post, "What should my next topic be?" And He said to me, “You should know the answer to this Widny.” Lol.
As soon as he whispered that to my heart, I knew immediately what to talk about. Fabulous on the outside; messy on the inside.
When I began to get real about my hidden issues, the following are some of the many things that helped me along the way of bettering myself:
Prayer Journal Being transparent with God through writing is extremely powerful. Writing it down takes the edge off more toxic feelings and emotions and helps you better understand what you’re feeling, freeing up thinking space to gain clarity on what to do next.
Worship When it looks bad, worship. When you do not understand what’s taking place, and you have absolute no control over it, worship. When things are beginning to fall into place and God is loudly moving in your life, worship. Even when God is silent in your life, worship. The solution to every area of your life is to worship GOD in the midst of the breaking and making. Accountability When God is doing something in your heart, keeping the right people in your life is vital for your growth. The right people are going to push you to NOT quit the process. The right people will ask, “Girl, did you read the Word today?” And they will make sure that what you do now is aligning with what God is doing in your life… Thankful for my church, friends and mentor!
Be intentional and let God work I was always ready to throw in the towel when in the process of facing the “real”. I was too apathetic to deal with it. Here’s the deal: when you surrender the process to God, it doesn’t mean that the process gets easier. When God begins to work in those areas, He starts from the root. Why? Because you got to rip weeds up by the roots. Otherwise, they will just keep coming back, and when they do come back, they're bound to bring more and more of their weedy friends with them. I had to learn that whatever I did not face and overcome, I’d have to deal with later on in life… And I ain’t got time for that! Lol.
So cheers to being Fabulous, not just on the outside, but also on the inside!
Be sure to check out the “Sharpen Yourself“ page on my blog! There will be weekly words of Encouragement, Devotionals and/or mini videos.